My daughter said that she does notice how I respond to the day. She said that if there are days when I stay in my pajamas then it makes her think that the day will be a chill day and that she can stay in her pajamas and take it easy. I do homeschool my children and she is one of my daughters that I homeschool. On the other hand, she said when I get ready for the day and start cleaning and organizing, it makes her feel like she should go clean to.
Now I know that children need to have routines to follow and responsibilities and should have a basic understand of how to take care of themselves and their space and belongings.
BUT…
Are we doing the same thing? Because if we let things slide on our end then it gives them the unspoken permission to do the same. This in turn leads to frustration on the end of the parent and the child.
It’s not like we tell our child “listen…today mommy is going to take a chill day but please don’t follow my example because tomorrow I will be back to the original schedule”.
Our children are very aware of what is going with us and in a sense they feed off of our energy and take example. It’s like the saying “monkey see, monkey do”. No…I am not calling our children monkeys but I just want to make it as clear as possible that our children will do what we do.
I have a 2 1/2 year old that will follow me into the bathroom as I brush my teeth and wash my face in the morning. He will crawl up on the toilet and grab his toothbrush and will follow my example. We may look at that and say “oh how cute” as our little children mimic us but what we have to realize is that as our children grow, they will keep mimicking us and following what we do.
That is why we have to set a better example. I am just as guilty of falling off the wagon and struggling with daily motivation to eat well, exercise, keep on top of the laundry mountain, tidy…tidy…tidy, get off my phone, go to bed earlier, and the list can go on. My kids notice that. They also notice when I pick myself up and keep going. Many days, slow and steady is all that I can do but as long as I don’t stop.
Our kids also notice how we act. How long does it take us to get riled up or blow a fuse? How do we settle differences in our disagreements with our spouses and children? How do we respond to others around us? Especially, when we are driving. How do we show our love and care for others? Our kids will do the exact same thing.
I have noticed myself in my children plenty of times and there are times when I don’t like what I see. One of the biggest things I have noticed is just how I respond to them. My tone…is something I am still working on. What can I say…my children push my buttons and that is just the way of life and growing and learning.
We live and we learn and just never stop learning but also don’t stop living. Don’t be too hard on yourself because I am nowhere near perfect and I have flaws that I am still chiseling out. Just take each day at a time and go slow and steady.
