What Should We As Parents Do?
There are a couple of things that you can do in order to raise successful kids.
The most important thing is for you to be involved in their life everyday. Children need parents these days more than ever. They want to be loved and cared for. In return, they will learn to love and care for those around them.
In order for children to learn to be respectful they need to be shown respect. That is something that I think parents get wrong and that I had to learn through my years of being a mother.
Children need to have examples of how they should respond to those around them and how to respond in different situations. For example, if you yell at your children for not listening to you when you tell them to do something, don’t be surprised if they are yelling at their siblings.
We have to model good behavior. Most of the time we want our children to do what we say and not do what we do. But that is not going to work. As the saying goes…
“actions speak louder than words”
They will repeat not just what you say but also what you do. I will share one simple example of what I noticed with my children.
I have six children that God has blessed me with and I am very grateful for them. My three older daughter’s were born with about 2 years between them. When they were little we taught them to be respectful and obedient but we would constantly have to remind them to say please and thank you.
Why?
It was because it was not a habit that my husband and I had. We didn’t say please and thank you to them every single time. We didn’t say please and thank you very often. Now my two younger daughters who were born much later say please and thank you very often.
Why? It was because we started saying it to them. They learned by example.
I read a lot of parenting books and learned a lot through the years. One thing that I will say is that parenting is hard. There were times when I would read something and think okay that makes sense and is something I should do. But implementing it was the difficult part and some things took years.
Forgiving myself is one of the hardest things that I have had to do and still struggle with at times. I have to tell myself that I need to forgive my mistakes and keep on trying.
Let your kids know that it’s okay to make mistakes. They don’t have to be perfect but they should try their best and give it their all.
Encourage them not to give up. They need to try and keep trying. I like the saying “practice makes progress”.
Give them age appropriate responsibilities and things they have to do everyday. They should learn to take care of themselves at a young age. Getting dressed, brushing their teeth and hair, and helping make breakfast are important skills to learn as early as they can. When they are little you may want to have a reward system and then an allowance when they become older.
When your children get older they should learn basic life skills and have responsibilities that they don’t have to be reminded to do all the time. Teach them good habits from the very beginning.
Teach them with love, empathy, and kindness. This way they will follow your example.
Help them find what they are interested in and encourage them to pursue it.
Please put limitations on electronics. Start with yourself because you are setting an example for your children. Your children really don’t need it. it’s okay for them to be bored. You will notice how creative they will become and how their behavior improves.
Your children will go through a range of ups and downs with a whole lot of different emotions. More than anything they want their feelings to be validated and to know without any doubt that you love them no matter what.
Help them to learn to cope with stress. It is always easy to notice the naughty things your children do and to call them out on it. What we fail a lot of the time to do is notice their good behavior and praise them for that. Your children want to be noticed no matter whether they are good or they are failing. Emphasize their efforts that were put into what they are doing whether they were successful or not.
I know that there is a lot to work on but it is possible but we as parents have to start with ourselves and then it becomes much easier to help our children be successful in life.
