Now…I thought both of the pictures looked just like her and I told her that “yes” that is the way she looks like in real life and that she is beautiful. It turns out that she didn’t see the same thing I did.
WHY?
In one picture she thought she looked good and in the other she noticed that one eye was slightly higher than the other and that her face was not quite symmetrical. I reminded her of something I say and it is something my mother said to me growing up…
“Don’t stare at yourself for too long in the mirror because if you want to find something wrong with how you look…you always will.”
It hurts my mama’s heart to see my daughter struggling to accept herself as she is. I told her she looked beautiful but she shrugged it off.
“You just say that because you are my mother” is what I hear often. As a mother it is so frustrating to hear them say that. It’s like they are looking for proof to accept themselves but my words are not proof enough. How do I make them believe in themselves?
There are a couple of things that I do to try and help my teen daughter. I tell her often that she is beautiful in God’s eyes. I encourage her to build her relationship with God. To bring her struggles to Him.
I try to limit her use of electronics so that she can get a break from everything that is thrown at her without a care of whether it hurts her or makes her struggle. I tell her that a lot of what she sees is not at all what it is like.
I still tell her that she is beautiful whether she wants to believe it or not. I pray that God helps her to accept herself as she is and that He gives me guidance of how to help her.
I know these teen years come with a lot of struggles and they are hard on both the teens and the parents. I want to tell every teen out there that they are wonderfully made by God. They are precious to Him and He loves them more than they could ever imagine. Hang in there parents because more than anything teens need your love and patience.
You will both get through this.
